A gentle way to show your support and care for the bereaved is to send a condolence message. Messages of understanding and support are profoundly valued; accepting sympathy notes is a significant part of the grieving. With regards to putting pen to paper, most individuals are not able to figure out the words to write in a condolence message.
In this post, we will help you understand how to compose a condolence message to assist you with finding the certainty to pen down the words that will mean so much to the grieving.
Getting Started
If you are not used to composing, particularly in situations of delicate themes, it will be pretty hard to figure out where to begin with your condolence message. It is recommended to try rehearsing on scrap paper first on the off chance that you are uncertain of what to explain.
Here is a basic guideline about how you can format your condolence message:
- Start with “Dear… ” If you are writing to your family, you can include each relative’s name at the start of your message.
- The initial part of your message should start with your sympathies. Such as, you can start your sympathy message by acknowledging their loss and that you are greatly sorry to learn about that. There are plenty of ways to say this and if you are uncertain, you can simply state “I am profoundly sorry to learn of the passing of” or “I was filled with grief when I learned about your sister’s passing”.
- Moving forward, you can write down a couple of good characteristics of their loved ones. Such as, discussing the good traits of their loved ones will bring them comfort, realizing they were valued and adored. You can state something like, “He always had a nice smile on his face. This is what we are going to miss the most about Jack.” or “I will never forget Jack’s infectious sense of humour– he was always the life of the party”. On the off chance that you didn’t have any acquaintance with them, you can simply state something like “I wish I had known more him better, he always seemed to be caring to me”.
- You can consider offering a good memory of that person. The lamenting family can discover incredible solace in hearing new tales about their lost ones, so don’t be hesitant to share loving memories, as long as they are good. In this case, the memory may be when the last time you saw them or the first occasion when you met with them, etc.
- Offer them help if you can. If you’re capable and are ready to offer any sort of help, you can say that in the sympathy message. For instance, you may offer to help with particular work, for example, gardening, cooking or taking care of their children.
- You might need to write about the funeral. In the event that your letter will arrive at the family before the funeral process, you might need to affirm whether you are going or not. In case, you are composing the letter after the burial service, you could state what a fitting tribute it was. However, if you didn’t go to the funeral, you could cause your statements of regret by saying something like: “I am profoundly sorry for not being able to attend the funeral.”
- End a latter with a proper message. A suitable close down could be something like “with compassion” or “with my sincere sympathy” etc. In case you are close to the bereaved, you can end your letter with “all my love” or “loads of love”.
Important things to remember:
- Never hesitate to express your emotions. It is alright to state how much you miss that individual, or how shocked you were when you learn the news of their passing.
- If you are not certain about the beliefs of the bereaved family, do not say things like “they are with God now” or “they are in a better place”. It’s best not to just assume the family’s beliefs, as it might disturb them.
- Also, don’t say “I understand how it feels” or “everything happens for a reason”. Such statements can be frightful for them, regardless of whether you don’t mean them to be.
- Except if you know the family well indeed, avoid humorous stories and jokes. It is difficult to pass on tone in your message and the bereaved family may misread it and consider it uncaring or insulting.
Example sympathy messages
The following are two examples of sympathy messages that can help you with composing your own condolence message. Please note that the messages given below are not real and all names are made up for illustrating the example message.
Example 1
Dear George, Jack, and Oliver,
I was very much saddened and shocked to know about Harry’s passing and all my thoughts are with you. It is quite hard for me to express how much we all are going to miss him.
Harry was such a confident and bright man. He was one of the most compassionate and caring individuals I have ever met – and such a great sense of humour as well! In fact, I will never forget Jack’s infectious sense of humour– he was always the life of the party.
I still remember when I first met Harry. We sat next to each other at work and became good friends in no time. He used to make all of us laugh as nobody else could and especially he always managed to comfort me whenever I’d had an unpleasant day.
Also, I would like to mention that his funeral was a superb tribute to his life. Harry would have cherished the excellent flower arrangements. On the off chance that you speak with Anthony, please pass on my thanks for such a delightful tribute. I believe he truly caught Harry’s personality and soul.
Kindly remember that I am always here for you if you want me to look after Jack and Oliver. Simply call me. I would love you to help you out!
With love,
Amaya Taylor
Example 2
Dear Troy,
I was shocked when I learned of Jack’s passing. I simply wanted to connect and tell you how much he will be remembered fondly by everyone.
Jack was exceptional and somebody I generally enjoyed talking with. Hearing his beautiful stories from his world travel always captivated me. He achieved a lot in his life and I have always admired his passion.
I would like to thank you for inviting me to his funeral. It was a really lovely ceremony and I was pleased to meet with such a large number of great individuals sharing beautify stories from Jack’s life.
Please remember that I will be here if you need anything. I would gladly help out around the farm for the next few weeks. I will surely call you in the next few days to set something up.
Whenever you need to talk, remember we are just a phone call away.
Lots of love,
Maria Lena